And the start to another cycle for us!! I will be taking a home pregnancy test in the morning to make sure I am either pregnant or not before I take (10) pills tomorrow to jump start the follicle growing process!!! I can sit here right now and remember how excited I was last cycle when we started the follicle growing process....Ahhh....It seems like yesterday but its already been almost 2 months ago now...Time flies when your either stressed out to the max or having fun!! I have had a little bit of both of those going on lately! More stress though! Man, the stress of going through these cycles is a lot but I keep seeing a dear friend of mine posting all of her baby girl's pics and I can't help but feel so optimistic that God has amazing plans for me and Brandon! AH-Mazing plans!!! I can just feel it!
A few posts ago I blogged about lessons I have learned. Well, every day I learn a new lesson to be honest but today I learned to NEVER underestimate the power of prayer and believing in Jesus!! There has been a lot on my mind for quite some time now and I finally decided to just let it go and let God handle it. I was once told that if I have no control over it, then just let God control it! He has all of the control in the world. And because He loves me so much, He wants to take care of my problems and He wants me to just let Him have them all!! I spent a few hours this past Sunday with my Great Grandmother who is 92 years old. She has always been a big part of my life ever since I was born. I always love hearing all of the old stories of when my Dad was little and all the trips they went on when my Great Grandfather was alive. He has been passed away now for 34 years and my Granny has lived alone and in the same home they built together for all of these years. Never remarried, never dated another man...nothing. She lost a daughter when she was a teenager in a terrible accident when a train hit their car. She has lost all of her grandchildren and her husband as well. At 92, she told me that the only way to get through the difficult times in your life, is to just tell the Lord, "Lord, I can't deal with this on my own. I really need your help. I am giving it all to you" I think this is some of the best advice I have gotten from her. And right at the perfect time when I needed to hear that the most. With all of the sadness, grief, death, stress etc....I have dealt with in my life, and now the infertility journey we have been placed on too for the past 5 years, I can honestly say, that my only option is to let God handle it. It is all out of my control! There was nothing I could do about my Dad getting killed. There is and wasn't anything I could do about being infertile. The Doctors had to help me and Brandon figure it all out. We couldn't have done that part on our own. Of course we have had to put in effort as well. After all, God will only help those that can also help themselves. Even though He can do all of the work, doesn't mean He will. We have to put in a little bit of effort to show God that we really want this or that to happen and we are willing to do whatever we have to in order for it to happen.
So, for now as always, we wait to see the follicles grow!!! I go back to Dr. L on October 2nd and October 4th for ultrasounds of my little follicles to see how big they are! I pray they really grow and that there are lots of them! The more there are that are big enough, the better chance of conception. But as always, anything is possible when our God is involved!! And if it is not His time for us, this will not happen this month and I understand that. But I am being optimistic!! After all, God wants us to be happy and positive! Not sad or worried and all negative Nelly's! Stay tuned for more updates as we board the ship IUI! We are fixing to set sail! Starting tomorrow of course! Please be in prayer for us!! We always need your prayers! I hope and pray that maybe just one of you that read this blog, will figure out that Jesus is the only way! Especially with the Infertility journey we are on together! Let go and let God handle it!! He's got this!!
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