When I tell you that God surely works in mysterious ways, for the best for us in all He does...I couldn't be a better example if I tried (which I haven't and that makes it miraculous).
About 12 weeks ago or maybe a little less than that, I went to my PCP just because I had a sinus infection and needed some medicine. My PCP was out on maternity leave (go figure, right?) so I had to see another one of the Doctors that day that I had never seen before. Right as she walks in she asked me why I was there and I told her and she started immediately on some rant about how I needed to be tested for MTHFR gene mutation. WHAT????!!! I was kind of thrown off being I was there for a sinus infection. She explained herself and how it could be the reason for my heart issues (high BP), apnea, INFERTILITY, and many other issues I do not have symptoms of. I just knew that she was in there trying to make money, because she said insurance doesn't cover it and it can be costly. Right then and there I just blew it off. She gave me a sticky note with the name of the disorder on it and told me to give it to my reproductive specialist and have him check into it....
Well, on November 7th when we met with Dr. Lipari (our reproductive specialist) I asked him about it. Just because, I am sick and tired of waiting and waiting (waiting and waiting....and more waiting) to figure out this infertility stuff. I keep getting told there is no reason for "me" to not be getting pregnant other than Brandon's sperm count being so low. Well, with the IUI I feel that there is more to it than just a low sperm count. I mean, I had 3 good size mature follicles and he gave 3 million sperm...And it didn't work. So, I just thought to myself, it doesn't hurt to ask. I have nothing to lose at this point.
Well, needless to say, I am thankful to God that in that one visit with that PCP I just knew was trying to get me to do some pointless testing just to benefit their "research" or whatever they are working on, told me about this MTHFR mutation....And I am thankful to God that I questioned Dr. Lipari about it on our last visit and he ordered the testing.
I unfortunately have 2 genetic mutations...Yes 2....As I was told today, there is a chance I could never carry a baby on my own without the help of medication to ensure I can get to full term and even then they cannot say it will actually happen (who can, I mean, God is bigger than any and all Doctors). My body does not make Folate (folic acid or Vitamin B9) which is needed to make sure women do not have miscarriage. The Dr told me today that they only test for this genetic disorder in Mother's who have lost 2 or more pregnancies!!!!! Now for those that do not believe in God, this right here is God at work in my life!!! I would never have been able to emotionally handle losing 2 or more babies....not even one. And had I not mentioned this to our doctor, I never would've been tested for it. Even though I got some awful news, I am so thankful I did not have to experience miscarriage before something was done about this genetic disorder. I will be taking 6 times the normal amount of Folate via prescription until I get pregnant and then at that point there are other things they will have to do in order to assist in me carrying the baby full term without miscarriage or very premature birth, etc.
As of right now, Brandon will have labs drawn in about 2 weeks (somewhere around Dec 19th) which will tell the Doctors whether or not the medication is working in Brandon to make his sperm plentiful. We are still on for another cycle in about 2 weeks, but we shall see exactly what happens around that time. I think they are really on the fence about doing a cycle right now with me but I believe and have faith in a God that is bigger than any Doctor. And since we have found the issues, I believe it can be watched and handled as needed. As sad and angry I have been in the past weeks, I still have faith that it will happen in God's time and God is the ultimate physician! Therefore, no matter what genetic mutation or any other issue there may be, God is bigger than that!
Let me leave you with this. Over the past 5 years, I have cried so many tears, been so very angry to a point that I dont even know myself anymore, took out my emotions on the one person who loves me no matter what (my husband) and who is there for me no matter what, blamed God, blamed my Dad...You name it, I have experienced it...Now today as I sit here and think back over the past years, God was at work the entire time. God knows my heart and He knows I cannot emotionally handle losing a baby. And had I gotten pregnant before now, I would have most likely miscarried since I have a lack of folate and a my body doesn't know what to do with it when I get it from food, vitamins etc... This my friends, is what I call a blessing. A blessing in disguise. I am so thankful that even when I feel I am done with this journey, when I feel I want off of this roller coaster ride, God is there in shining armor protecting me and letting me know He is there! How can you not have faith in God when you experience this first hand? It isn't coincidence people. Nothing is "coincidence" with God! So, as I have said before, cry....be angry....but get up, dust yourself off and keep going! God isn't finished with you and He most definitely isn't finished with me. For any of you experiencing this right along with me, ask your Doctor about MTHFR mutation. It may help solve many unanswered questions in your journey as well!! And it may save your baby's life!! That is the only way I can see it! This has saved my baby's life!!!!!!
Please keep the prayers coming. I do not know what the coming weeks may hold for me and this journey. I pray that each of you reading this, will leave it with a message of hope! Love you all!! Thank you for showing your support and love to me through this! That says so much, as we have some close to us that could care less to know anything about this very difficult journey! Thank you for the prayers!!
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