Well, well, well....Its been a while since my last post. I'm sorry to all of my followers and Googlers who randomly view my blog. Its been a crazy couple of weeks and I haven't felt much into blogging....(I know I should but too many emotions and crazy things happening to focus...) The most important thing for everyone to remember is it is perfectly normal to get down and out and not want to do anything or be apart of anything while traveling down this road (infertlity...in case anyone forgot)...I have been in this "mode" for quit some time but I have come to realize that the phrase "Good things come to those who wait and who have faith in the Lord" is more than true!! Over the last couple of weeks we have had some ups and downs in our journey...Yep, it happens...But it is how we choose to deal with it that truly matters and gets us out of it.
Wednesday June 26th, we had another set of appointments with Dr. P and Dr. L...At first going into this appointment I didn't really feel very "faith-FULL" and I really didn't have a optimistic attitude about it. After all, we have been driving and swerving down infertile highway for about 5 years now. I truly felt this road was never ending and that we were just "lost" on this journey. We have had disappointment after disappointment and my heart has been so broken in so many ways. But, as many have told me over and over again, God puts these trials in our lives for reasons unknown. Mainly to grow our faith in Him and to grow in ourselves also. From time we went back for our first appointment that morning I was just dreading it. Probably nothing new and just getting told to "come back in four weeks and continue everything you are doing now" was old and I already "knew" it so why come pay them to tell me this. But then God performs miracles and just when we think there is no longer any hope....WHAM!! He hits us with good news.
Brandon went back for his semen analysis at 9, then I had my appointment with Dr. P at 10 (which ended up being 10:45 after we waited) and then if we got "good news" on Brandon's semen analysis Dr. L would come in to wrap everything up at 11 (which ended up being 12:45). I never expected to see Dr. L this day. Stemming from my pessimistic attitude I assumed nothing "good" was bound to happen this appointment. But when everything got wrapped up from my appointment and as we were fixing to walk out with my head held down in disappointment again, the lab director brought over the "paper" we were anxiously awaiting...THE COUNT! My heart dropped into my stomach and I started immediately feeling like I was fixing to have an anxiety attack I was so nervous. Dr. P looked at it and then handed it over to Dr. L who was seeing us off at yet another 4 week appointment. Dr. L looked at us both and motioned for us to go back into the conference room we were in previously to go over the results of THE COUNT. Immediately I knew it was bad news, the injections weren't working again....But might I tell you that when I say God is good, He is truly the miracle worker!! Dr. L said that Brandon's sperm count went from 1.8 million to..........52 million normal sperm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The actual count is 129 million!!!!!!!!!! You could never in a million years, have ever imagined the tears and the smile coming rolling down my face!!! I knew immediately that God heard our prayers over the last couple of months for this count to increase this much!!! Dr. L and Dr. P both said that IVF is NO LONGER AN OPTION for us!!! We will not be needing anything that extensive and better yet, he said as long as my body cooperates with the ovulation stimulation drugs, I SHOULD BE PREGNANT BY AUGUST!!!!!!!!!! To top it off, at the last appointment Brandon's testosterone had increased from 200 to 780...Ideal is 500-600 so it was over shot a little but it is easier to bring it down than to try to make it go up if it isn't wanting too. GOD IS MORE THAN FAITHFUL TO HIS CHILDREN, THOSE WHO HAVE FAITH IN HIM AND BELIEVE!!!!So now, we go back on July 17th
see Dr. L for a full consultation and to get my meds started!!!!
EEEEEKKKK! I am way past excited for this date!! It could not come fast
enough!
For those of you on this journey with us, please remember that you are never alone and that with a little faith, BIG things happen!! God is always on our side. The devil tries to interfere with that but as long as we stand strong in our faith, the devil will back down. My frown has now been turned upside down and I am overwhelmed with happiness right now and NOTHING will interfere with that. NOTHING!!! It is time for a change in a lot of areas in my life and I am excited for these changes. People and certain situations let you down, but as long as you have faith in all the great things coming for you, being pessimistic turns into being optimistic!! Thank you all for the prayers you have sent up for us!! Keep them coming as we still are not pregnant but it is only a matter of time now!!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Family Genes
Man has God been throwing missiles at me and Brandon over the last few weeks. I have really been down and out, which is why I haven't posted but then today I realized that blogging is medicinal and I need to be doing what I feel I should be, which is keeping everyone updated about our journey to parenthood, plus release some stress by typing what is on my heart and mind.
May 29th (last Wednesday) I went back to Dr. P for an insulin resistance follow up. I was only down about 2.5 lbs which is terrible I know. The previous 4 weeks were more than stressful and I eat when I am upset or stressed out and worried about something. I guess the technical term for that is an "emotional eater"...But that is me and that is how I cope, along with many other things. Dr. P kept telling me that being "down" any amount of weight is a very positive thing, no matter the exact number. To me, I am looking at the number. 15-20 lbs a month is a goal of mine and I have been hitting it with about 10 to 12 lbs a month until the last month. But otherwise it was a very long, drawn out appointment since we couldn't really make any permanent decisions on a treatment option due to the fact I have not been released from my Internist to resume any stimulation because of my blood pressure issues at the moment. I have been on hold from that and will continue to be on hold until lots of underlying issues are resolved. We discussed a change up on the diet plan and we increased my metformin to 2,000mg daily which is the highest dose we can go to. My vitamin D levels are right where they want them so we have decreased the 50,000 IU dose once weekly to about 10,000 IU weekly spread out. My thyroid levels have gotten right where they want them for conception so that is great to know but we have continued the Synthroid to maintain those levels. Otherwise, we go back June 12th for Brandon to do another semen analysis to see if the HCG injections are working to increase his sperm count. We will also discuss out options once again at this point so that when my BP gets under control we can go ahead with whatever it may be. I will go back June 26th for another IR follow up and to go over lab results again. The story of our lives!
Now, besides the May 29th, disappointing appointment once again, we have had a lot more going on medically. My headaches have not subsided and neither has the chest pain. I had to have an Urgent Echo done on Thursday last week which was not normal (more on that further down this post) and Monday this week, Brandon was rushed from work to the hospital in Lake City via rescue because they assumed he was having a heart attack (scared to death is an understatement of how I felt). Heart attack was ruled out and it turns out he was in Atrial Fibrillation which is an abnormal heart rhythm or arrhythmia. His heart rate was 199 when he arrived. He was admitted and monitored Monday night with no change from just the meds alone, so they decided to cardiovert him which is where they put him under anesthesia and shock his heart in hopes of putting it back in normal sinus rhythm. I was a basket case because I was at home when I got the call, getting ready for a job interview. Luckily and by the grace of God, I made it back in time to see him before they did the procedure. I was so thankful my Nana and Papa was there with me because I was so scared and worried. Thankfully, the procedure worked, for now and hopefully forever, and his heart is beating a little fast but in a normal sinus rhythm. PRAISE OUR ALMIGHTY GOD!!! He got discharged to come home last night under the conditions that he has someone here at home to monitor him and keep an eye on him for about 48 to 72 hours (lucky me!!). I wouldn't have it any other way because God has shown me that I need to focus on what is most important in my life. Material things and worrying about jobs and money have no affect on our LIFE in general. Our health is the most important thing other than our relationship with the One and the Only! My husband and my family are my first priorities and they haven't been prior to this. My health too. If I plan on being a Mommy then I better start paying closer attention to things.
Now about my abnormal Echo-cardiogram....turns out, my pulmonary valve in my heart is not functioning properly. Also the pressure in my pulmonary artery is extremely low. I have to do a STAT sleep study to make sure I am not stopping breathing while I am sleeping. My lungs are not getting adequate blood flow because of the valve malfunctioning. But the good thing is, we are getting it figured out. This could be the cause of my extremely high blood pressure, headaches and the reason I feel like I have been hit by a truck all day from morning to night. Even though I sleep all night and don't wake up, I still feel exhausted from the beginning of morning. We are focused on this right now and the headaches and everything else will be taken care of after. This is most important right now. So please keep this in your prayers! That my doctors will get it figured out ASAP!
So, since at the ripe young ages of 26 and 27 we feel like we are falling apart....We weren't blessed with great family genes and there is nothing we can do about that but we definitely have learned that living a healthy lifestyle is very very important. Even losing 51 lbs myself and with Brandon losing 90 lbs, we still have a long way to go but God will get us there. We trust in the Lord and that He will get us both back where we need to be and that is in baby making mode!!! Please continue to pray for us on this journey! We are having some pretty serious setbacks but they are all for a good reason and God's reasons for things are important. He will never give us more than we can handle, even though I feel like He has WAY too much trust in me right now! I know He loves us and will take care of us!
May 29th (last Wednesday) I went back to Dr. P for an insulin resistance follow up. I was only down about 2.5 lbs which is terrible I know. The previous 4 weeks were more than stressful and I eat when I am upset or stressed out and worried about something. I guess the technical term for that is an "emotional eater"...But that is me and that is how I cope, along with many other things. Dr. P kept telling me that being "down" any amount of weight is a very positive thing, no matter the exact number. To me, I am looking at the number. 15-20 lbs a month is a goal of mine and I have been hitting it with about 10 to 12 lbs a month until the last month. But otherwise it was a very long, drawn out appointment since we couldn't really make any permanent decisions on a treatment option due to the fact I have not been released from my Internist to resume any stimulation because of my blood pressure issues at the moment. I have been on hold from that and will continue to be on hold until lots of underlying issues are resolved. We discussed a change up on the diet plan and we increased my metformin to 2,000mg daily which is the highest dose we can go to. My vitamin D levels are right where they want them so we have decreased the 50,000 IU dose once weekly to about 10,000 IU weekly spread out. My thyroid levels have gotten right where they want them for conception so that is great to know but we have continued the Synthroid to maintain those levels. Otherwise, we go back June 12th for Brandon to do another semen analysis to see if the HCG injections are working to increase his sperm count. We will also discuss out options once again at this point so that when my BP gets under control we can go ahead with whatever it may be. I will go back June 26th for another IR follow up and to go over lab results again. The story of our lives!
Now, besides the May 29th, disappointing appointment once again, we have had a lot more going on medically. My headaches have not subsided and neither has the chest pain. I had to have an Urgent Echo done on Thursday last week which was not normal (more on that further down this post) and Monday this week, Brandon was rushed from work to the hospital in Lake City via rescue because they assumed he was having a heart attack (scared to death is an understatement of how I felt). Heart attack was ruled out and it turns out he was in Atrial Fibrillation which is an abnormal heart rhythm or arrhythmia. His heart rate was 199 when he arrived. He was admitted and monitored Monday night with no change from just the meds alone, so they decided to cardiovert him which is where they put him under anesthesia and shock his heart in hopes of putting it back in normal sinus rhythm. I was a basket case because I was at home when I got the call, getting ready for a job interview. Luckily and by the grace of God, I made it back in time to see him before they did the procedure. I was so thankful my Nana and Papa was there with me because I was so scared and worried. Thankfully, the procedure worked, for now and hopefully forever, and his heart is beating a little fast but in a normal sinus rhythm. PRAISE OUR ALMIGHTY GOD!!! He got discharged to come home last night under the conditions that he has someone here at home to monitor him and keep an eye on him for about 48 to 72 hours (lucky me!!). I wouldn't have it any other way because God has shown me that I need to focus on what is most important in my life. Material things and worrying about jobs and money have no affect on our LIFE in general. Our health is the most important thing other than our relationship with the One and the Only! My husband and my family are my first priorities and they haven't been prior to this. My health too. If I plan on being a Mommy then I better start paying closer attention to things.
Now about my abnormal Echo-cardiogram....turns out, my pulmonary valve in my heart is not functioning properly. Also the pressure in my pulmonary artery is extremely low. I have to do a STAT sleep study to make sure I am not stopping breathing while I am sleeping. My lungs are not getting adequate blood flow because of the valve malfunctioning. But the good thing is, we are getting it figured out. This could be the cause of my extremely high blood pressure, headaches and the reason I feel like I have been hit by a truck all day from morning to night. Even though I sleep all night and don't wake up, I still feel exhausted from the beginning of morning. We are focused on this right now and the headaches and everything else will be taken care of after. This is most important right now. So please keep this in your prayers! That my doctors will get it figured out ASAP!
So, since at the ripe young ages of 26 and 27 we feel like we are falling apart....We weren't blessed with great family genes and there is nothing we can do about that but we definitely have learned that living a healthy lifestyle is very very important. Even losing 51 lbs myself and with Brandon losing 90 lbs, we still have a long way to go but God will get us there. We trust in the Lord and that He will get us both back where we need to be and that is in baby making mode!!! Please continue to pray for us on this journey! We are having some pretty serious setbacks but they are all for a good reason and God's reasons for things are important. He will never give us more than we can handle, even though I feel like He has WAY too much trust in me right now! I know He loves us and will take care of us!
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