Tonight is definitely a "sleepless" one...Stinks, yes...But a lot on my mind (hint it is 2:57am, ugh!!!) I have never been more nervous about going to the doctor. Usually it is a relief to get an appointment to see the Dr because usually it is for some type of illness or to get some meds renewed....But this appointment gives us the results of all of our tests, to see if we will become parents in the near future (or just the future in general). It is super scary for me. I know that Brandon has some issues that will require some medication and I of course will have to take some meds to make me ovulate due to my PCOS, but I pray it is nothing more than that (fingers crossed).
During this journey, I have met some pretty amazing people. God has a way of putting people into your life, at the absolute perfect time! I have never seen anything like it...Of course I never will because our God is the One and the Only and He is an awesome God! When I first started my job, I knew I was gonna hate it! I had it all figured out...It was just not gonna be for me! Then my Grandmother got real sick 3 weeks after I started and I had to take off a few days to deal with her being in the hospital and I had to be there when the doctors came in so that I could hear exactly what was going on with her and what the next steps were for her. Little did I know that over the next 10 months to a year, I would need to be off work A LOT more because she was consistently getting sick and having to be hospitalized. When my Dad was killed, that left only myself and my younger brother to take care of her. After all, my Dad's whole family with the exception of my Grandma and my Great Grandmother (Granny Perry) has all passed away....A whole family, just gone way too soon...(and my poor Grandma had 4 children and all have died tragic deaths as well as my Papoose who died of Cancer at a very young age also) So, with a 23 year old brother, I would have to say that really leaves only myself to take care of her. He has been more help over the last couple of months and I must say I am so thankful for that. It can be very overwhelming to be my age, a newly wed, on the TTC/infertility journey, still grieving, working a full time job and attending school online full time time AND having to take care of my ill Grandma all at the same time....Help was very much needed! Many times I had breakdowns at work and I am not one to cry in front of people I dont know. But some days, the tears wouldn't stop coming. I was angry and upset all at the same time, that all of my Aunts and my Uncle plus my Dad have all left me to take on what they should be here doing. But I know that God had that all planned out. He knew I am strong enough to handle it and He knew that I would need Him during all of it! But what He also knew, was I would be needing supportive people in my life as well and that is where He put my Supervisors and my awesome co-workers! I never would've thought at any point that I would consider these ladies like part of my extended family! They have all been so amazing in everything, from my fertility appointments to having to be off to take care of my ill Grandma. So supportive! And I thank God for them all! God is awesome. Bottom line! He has an ultimate plan for each and every one of us and He puts people in our lives for a specific reason and purpose.
My BFF Addie J, now she is one of those friends who is definitely my Sister! She is more like family to me than most! No, actually she IS my family! The sister that was switched at birth! Without her and all of our talks and cries and laughs...I will probably not be able to write this blog. She has been the support that I needed for so many years. She is one that knows exactly what to say ( and I must thank her Nonnie who is in Heaven celebrating with Jesus because most of her encouraging words are things her Nonnie used to tell her as a young girl/teenager)! My life would not be complete without her! And I am so thankful that the Lord crossed our paths some 5 years ago now!
Okay okay...I am done blabbering on about all the people who are there for me on a daily basis! There are more, like my Aunt Lynne...needless to say she is more like my sister than my aunt and has been there for me in any way, shape or form since I was little! I know I can always count on her for everything! Since I have now typed a small memoir I think I may try to get some sleep ( I know you are saying "Thank you Lord Jesus, this girl is long winded") I will post again after our appointment with all the latest in what is actually going on with us from a "Fertility" standpoint!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Rain, Rain, Go Away
This morning was Brandon's second semen analysis and more blood work for him (poor little thing..lol). You would think with him being 6'8" tall and 300 lbs of lean, mean loving machine...He wouldn't be such a big titty!! He absolutely hates needles, of any kind! So of course it was like he was getting his teeth pulled out of his head this morning, but he survived. Praise the Lord for that because I felt like neither of us was going to survive that horrible traffic in Jacksonville at 8am this morning!! Oh my goodness!! It was horrible! Plus the flooding rain didn't help! I am not the best passenger in a car anyways, but this morning I can tell you my amazing husband was ready to straight up pull the plug on me! But thankful we went and came home safely! FYI: The results of today will be back by Thursday for our BIG appointment with Dr. L (if you could only hear the fear in my voice as I say that...).
Today was really just a run through Dr. L's office. Of course we got the normal welcome from the fabulous staff that work there! I haven't been there many times yet, but I love them all! They are so friendly and gracious! They really make you feel better about being there and getting all poked and prodded on. Brandon got some paper work for his blood work right when we first got there and signed in for his semen analysis and of course with me being the file cabinet (my purse anyways) he gives it to me, which I am glad he does because he will definitely lose them. I glance over them and notice a diagnosis....(I of course at that moment pray to God that whatever it may be, it is fixable). He has testosterone deficiency. Praise the good Lord above it IS treatable with meds of course. The nurse told me not to worry. Dr. L works miracles and he can fix almost any situation. Of course we will find out the complete down low about everything, including my blood work and everything about Brandon's semen analysis, but just to hear her say not to worry sure made me feel a little better.
Anyone going through infertility knows that everywhere you go, no matter where it is, the only thing usually on your mind is "baby baby baby"! You see everyone that has that cute little baby bump or even that very huge baby bump! It is like they just flock to you because you so badly want what they have and feel. Brandon got out to pump gas this morning on our way back home from Jacksonville and at the McDonald's next to the gas station, I saw 2 pregnant ladies....Of course, like always I got teary eyed but then I imagined what it would feel like if I were the one toting around that little bundle of joy in my belly....And of course that made me smile. I read in my devotional the other day, that until we let go of our fear and worry not, we can't fully accept and see what God is doing in our lives. The fear and worry takes over our whole lives. Every bit of it, day in and day out. I completely understood that this morning as I sat there in the car watching these Mommies next door. Until I let go of the fear and worry of never being able to hear the words "you are pregnant", never getting to feel that kick, of never getting to hear the words "I love you Mommy"....Until I let go of all of the fear and worry, I can't fully see what God is doing currently in my life! This will be a process but starting today, I am going to try my best to not worry so much and turn the fear over to the Lord himself! It is not my fear anymore! The Devil puts fear and worry in our hearts! I have to stop letting him! I WILL be a Mommy one day!! When the Lord see's it is the right time! I just have to fully get that into my heart and mind!
So for now, that is how today has come and gone! For those of you who are making this journey too...Dont give up! OUR time is coming!! And we will be riding that blessed Mommy train too!!
Today was really just a run through Dr. L's office. Of course we got the normal welcome from the fabulous staff that work there! I haven't been there many times yet, but I love them all! They are so friendly and gracious! They really make you feel better about being there and getting all poked and prodded on. Brandon got some paper work for his blood work right when we first got there and signed in for his semen analysis and of course with me being the file cabinet (my purse anyways) he gives it to me, which I am glad he does because he will definitely lose them. I glance over them and notice a diagnosis....(I of course at that moment pray to God that whatever it may be, it is fixable). He has testosterone deficiency. Praise the good Lord above it IS treatable with meds of course. The nurse told me not to worry. Dr. L works miracles and he can fix almost any situation. Of course we will find out the complete down low about everything, including my blood work and everything about Brandon's semen analysis, but just to hear her say not to worry sure made me feel a little better.
Anyone going through infertility knows that everywhere you go, no matter where it is, the only thing usually on your mind is "baby baby baby"! You see everyone that has that cute little baby bump or even that very huge baby bump! It is like they just flock to you because you so badly want what they have and feel. Brandon got out to pump gas this morning on our way back home from Jacksonville and at the McDonald's next to the gas station, I saw 2 pregnant ladies....Of course, like always I got teary eyed but then I imagined what it would feel like if I were the one toting around that little bundle of joy in my belly....And of course that made me smile. I read in my devotional the other day, that until we let go of our fear and worry not, we can't fully accept and see what God is doing in our lives. The fear and worry takes over our whole lives. Every bit of it, day in and day out. I completely understood that this morning as I sat there in the car watching these Mommies next door. Until I let go of the fear and worry of never being able to hear the words "you are pregnant", never getting to feel that kick, of never getting to hear the words "I love you Mommy"....Until I let go of all of the fear and worry, I can't fully see what God is doing currently in my life! This will be a process but starting today, I am going to try my best to not worry so much and turn the fear over to the Lord himself! It is not my fear anymore! The Devil puts fear and worry in our hearts! I have to stop letting him! I WILL be a Mommy one day!! When the Lord see's it is the right time! I just have to fully get that into my heart and mind!
So for now, that is how today has come and gone! For those of you who are making this journey too...Dont give up! OUR time is coming!! And we will be riding that blessed Mommy train too!!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tonights dinner....
So, ever since I have been diagnosed with PCOS, I have done way more research and "googling" than I should about the "thing" that has stunned my sweet little ovaries from releasing their precious cargo...I found out that a low/no carb diet is the best for women with PCOS due to the fact that PCOS actually has a lot to do with your insulin levels (this is how I have lost 42 pounds so far....Yay me!). So, I have had to do a lot of "Pinterest-ing" to find some great tasting low/no carb recipes. One that I have recently found is a chicken recipe (the more you follow my blog you will see that I may eventually start clucking like a chicken because we eat so much of it) and it happens to be pretty low carb and absolutely delish!!!
You will need the following:
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 cup mayo
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (fresh grated is always the best in any dish)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons shredded parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons plain or italian seasoned bread crumbs
Preheat oven to 350*. Pat dry your chicken breast and place them in a shallow baking dish (I use a 9x13 glass baking dish). In a small bowl, combine all ingredients except bread crumbs (they are for sprinkling over the top of the chicken once the mayo mixture has been spread on top). Mix well and spoon over top of chicken breast. Spread evenly over each chicken breast then sprinkle with bread crumbs. Cover with foil and bake 45-55 minutes until chicken is cooked thoroughly. Remove foil and bake 5-10 more minutes until tops of chicken is lightly browned. Let it cool for 5 minutes before serving, the topping is extremely hot and WILL burn your tongue!! (tried and true)
I served this chicken dish with some angel hair pasta that I added a little bit of crushed garlic, butter and about 3 tablespoons of jarred alfredo sauce to. We also had french style green beans that I sauteed in a pan with butter and garlic (yes, we use a lot of garlic) and little bit of lemon pepper, just for a zing.
This recipe is tried and true in my household! I have made it twice so far in a matter of a week and a half, per my husband's request! I must say, it is pretty delish!
Just thought I would share! I love to cook so there may be many more recipes to come!
Don't forget to please add us to your prayer list this week! Lots going on and I pray the Lord will bless us with some great news!
You will need the following:
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 cup mayo
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (fresh grated is always the best in any dish)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons shredded parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons plain or italian seasoned bread crumbs
Preheat oven to 350*. Pat dry your chicken breast and place them in a shallow baking dish (I use a 9x13 glass baking dish). In a small bowl, combine all ingredients except bread crumbs (they are for sprinkling over the top of the chicken once the mayo mixture has been spread on top). Mix well and spoon over top of chicken breast. Spread evenly over each chicken breast then sprinkle with bread crumbs. Cover with foil and bake 45-55 minutes until chicken is cooked thoroughly. Remove foil and bake 5-10 more minutes until tops of chicken is lightly browned. Let it cool for 5 minutes before serving, the topping is extremely hot and WILL burn your tongue!! (tried and true)
I served this chicken dish with some angel hair pasta that I added a little bit of crushed garlic, butter and about 3 tablespoons of jarred alfredo sauce to. We also had french style green beans that I sauteed in a pan with butter and garlic (yes, we use a lot of garlic) and little bit of lemon pepper, just for a zing.
This recipe is tried and true in my household! I have made it twice so far in a matter of a week and a half, per my husband's request! I must say, it is pretty delish!
Just thought I would share! I love to cook so there may be many more recipes to come!
Don't forget to please add us to your prayer list this week! Lots going on and I pray the Lord will bless us with some great news!
God is so good!
When I decided to start this blog early this morning, never did I ever think that anyone would actually read it!!! Man was I wrong!! God completely has a plan for us and it comes about in so many different, amazing ways! I am excited for what this blog will actually bring into other's lives as well as my very own!
Now, I left off my last post with our last visit to Dr. L on February 12. Well, on Tuesday this past week, I received a bill in the mail from our lab in Jacksonville, on Brandon. I knew we paid everything in full, due to the fact we are self pay, and therefore neither one of us would've received a bill at all. So I immediately get on the phone because I am well aware of how messed up billing departments for hospitals, doctor's offices, labs, radiology departments, etc...can all be. The lab manager told me that Dr. L's office sent over a STAT culture on Brandon's semen (scared to death I may add at this point). Our care coordinator told me there was nothing to be too concerned about, however B may have some type of infection such as a UTI. Men usually have no idea they have a UTI. They are asymptomatic in most cases. But it was still a concern because this can affect fertility.
I called my Honey who hadn't left for work at this point and told him what was going on. Now anyone that truly knows Brandon, will know that he does not show emotion at all, and if he does it results in a down pour of tears or an outrage of anger, one or the other! He obviously was scared to death, just as I was to hear of this new turn of events in our path to parenthood. He didn't say a word to me on the other end of the phone. So immediately I get angry because for me, when a man shows no emotion, I feel like they just do not care...Man was I ever so wrong on this one. That night we discussed it all and I truly know how he feels and how scared he is that something could be definitely wrong with him and not just myself. But God has gotten us this far and even in the darkest of days, there will be light!
Even after I had a total breakdown and was angry then upset then angry again and then finished out the night crying myself to sleep, I realized that just as a friend had told me recently, that this was just another brick laid down on God's perfect path for us! God knew this was going to happen. He knew this would upset me and I would cry my eyes out over it! God knows before we know, exactly what our paths will be! Where they will lead us! It is up to us, as believers in Christ, to diligently seek Him as we go down these paths! And if we do so, the path will lead us right where God has planned!
Please pray for us this week as on Monday (tomorrow morning to be exact) Brandon and I will be heading back to Dr. L's office so he can repeat his semen analysis and repeat his blood work. Then on Thursday, we have our BIG "plan of treatment" appointment with Dr. L! I am nervous, excited, scared to death...A little bit of everything all at the same time! I feel that it will be a good appointment! So please, add us to your prayer list! God is good and will give us the desires of our hearts! But only in His perfect timing!!!
Now, I left off my last post with our last visit to Dr. L on February 12. Well, on Tuesday this past week, I received a bill in the mail from our lab in Jacksonville, on Brandon. I knew we paid everything in full, due to the fact we are self pay, and therefore neither one of us would've received a bill at all. So I immediately get on the phone because I am well aware of how messed up billing departments for hospitals, doctor's offices, labs, radiology departments, etc...can all be. The lab manager told me that Dr. L's office sent over a STAT culture on Brandon's semen (scared to death I may add at this point). Our care coordinator told me there was nothing to be too concerned about, however B may have some type of infection such as a UTI. Men usually have no idea they have a UTI. They are asymptomatic in most cases. But it was still a concern because this can affect fertility.
I called my Honey who hadn't left for work at this point and told him what was going on. Now anyone that truly knows Brandon, will know that he does not show emotion at all, and if he does it results in a down pour of tears or an outrage of anger, one or the other! He obviously was scared to death, just as I was to hear of this new turn of events in our path to parenthood. He didn't say a word to me on the other end of the phone. So immediately I get angry because for me, when a man shows no emotion, I feel like they just do not care...Man was I ever so wrong on this one. That night we discussed it all and I truly know how he feels and how scared he is that something could be definitely wrong with him and not just myself. But God has gotten us this far and even in the darkest of days, there will be light!
Even after I had a total breakdown and was angry then upset then angry again and then finished out the night crying myself to sleep, I realized that just as a friend had told me recently, that this was just another brick laid down on God's perfect path for us! God knew this was going to happen. He knew this would upset me and I would cry my eyes out over it! God knows before we know, exactly what our paths will be! Where they will lead us! It is up to us, as believers in Christ, to diligently seek Him as we go down these paths! And if we do so, the path will lead us right where God has planned!
Please pray for us this week as on Monday (tomorrow morning to be exact) Brandon and I will be heading back to Dr. L's office so he can repeat his semen analysis and repeat his blood work. Then on Thursday, we have our BIG "plan of treatment" appointment with Dr. L! I am nervous, excited, scared to death...A little bit of everything all at the same time! I feel that it will be a good appointment! So please, add us to your prayer list! God is good and will give us the desires of our hearts! But only in His perfect timing!!!
A short history lesson...
Since I have decided to start this blog to get "things" off of my chest, I guess in order for you guys to fully understand what we have been going through, I will need to fill you in on how it all started....
To start off with exactly how this whole thing started I will need to start with the worst of the worst first.
April 2008, I had a normal menstrual cycle...Normal for me on birth control was 3 days in length and pretty light to say the least (compared to now, Oh My Word!!).
May 22, 2008 my Dad was killed in a horrible car accident coming home from the Panhandle. Can I just say, having one of your parents ripped from you in an instant is beyond words. Still to this day, I can't get over it.
July 12, 2008 Brandon and I became husband and wife!! This just so happened to be the best day of our lives (if I do say so myself!) thus far.
July 28, 2008 I went for my annual exam (ugh!!) and per my doctor's orders, due to my blood pressure being elevated with me being on BP medicine already, we decided it was best for me to stop my birth control pills due to the risks of stroke and blood clots. I left my GYN's office that day in high hopes that within a few months, we would be expecting a little bundle of joy...(man was I ever so wrong..)
September 2009 I went again for my annual exam...still not pregnant and not having a monthly cycle AT ALL. I asked my GYN about "why" I wasn't getting pregnant and her answer wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear...I was grieving and my body wasn't allowing me to get pregnant. I wasn't ovulating. I needed to get myself together and come back to see her. She recommended that I start seeing a therapist to help deal with losing my Dad. My body was under too much stress and I was not in any shape to carry a baby right then. To make me having a cycle, she prescribed Provera (progesterone) which I would start taking immediately for 10 days, then I would have a cycle. (Can I just say WORST cycle EVER!!!!!) I had to take this medication every month for the next 2 years.
September 2010 I went to a new OB/GYN due to the fact my FAVORITE GYN ever, Dr. C, moved to a new practice and could not accept patients for 1 whole year!! Now, I have always, since I was 15, went to a lady GYN...Well, I decided to go to a man OB/GYN because I had gotten so many great reviews of this Doc...Little did I know, I would NOT enjoy this appointment...Dr. S was not what I was expecting. I went through the appointment with little answered questions. I asked why I was not getting pregnant and what he could do to help me get pregnant. He told me that before he could do anything, I needed to have an Hystocypenogram(?) done to make sure my fallopian tubes were open. Well, for someone that doesn't have health insurance, this test is pretty costly ($1200 to be exact). At that point in my life, as I explained to Dr. S, we just did not have that kind of money. So he referred me to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist at Shands UF to see if she could figure out what was going on with my hormones, etc...
November 2010 I started seeing Dr. Rhoton-Vlasik at Shands UF. I loved her but did not like the fact that every appointment I went to, a Resident came in and I had to explain the whole story to them over and over. I always had questions but they could never answer them, correctly anyways. But outside of that little tidbit of useless information, after my first appointment with Dr. Rhoton she decided that I needed to do one more round of Provera and come back to have an endometrial biopsy done to make sure the reason for me not having a monthly cycle is not due to cancer...(yes, CANCER). Needless to say I was the biggest ball of nerves you ever seen...
December 2010 I went in to have my biopsy. My mother came with me for this procedure because my hubby had to work (ugh). After 2 attempts by the "resident" (yes, the RESIDENT), Dr. Rhoton decided she had better do it to get the best results. After 30 minutes of the worst pain I have ever been in, she finally got deep enough to get Endometrial tissue to test. Thank you Lord!
January 2012 I went back for a follow up appointment to see about my test results and lab work I had to get completed in between all the poking and prodding. My biopsy was negative for any cancerous cells (PTL!!) but my lab work did show that my testosterone levels were extremely elevated which indicates a diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). PCOS causes you not to ovulate due to small cysts on your ovaries. (Thank you God for a final diagnosis). Dr. Rhoton said I needed to get on a strict diet, low carb preferably, and come back in a few months to see if my levels are any better and if anything had improved...(definitely NOT the answer I wanted, but looking back now, it was all in His perfect plan).
March 2012 I went for a follow up...I was down 13 lbs (I am a depressive eater...I wasn't ALL in). This still was not enough to start Clomid to help me ovulate. (Needless to say, this was my very last appointment with Dr. Rhoton...She was beating around the bush too much and I wanted answers and help, right then!)
September 2012 I started seeing Dr. Larimer. She is a bariatric physician who has a practice in Lake Butler, Florida (not far from my house). My first day on her A-mazing diet was September 1st. It is the start to a new me and hopefully that new me being a Mommy!
November 2012 Down 30 pounds!! Go me!! At my follow up appointment Dr. Larimer decided to take me off one of the medications she had me on for weight loss, and try me on Metformin to treat my PCOS (which Dr. Rhoton said was ridiculous because I was NOT a diabetic..Little did she know...). I left my appointment that day full of hope and faith that it would not be long and my wait to be a Mommy would be over!
December 2012 Down 10 more pounds for a total of 40 pounds!!!!!! But still not pregnant....During this journey I have been so down in the dumps that I have literally cried every day for the last 4 years...This month was one of those months...
January 16, 2013 Today is our first appointment with Dr. Lipari at the Jacksonville Center for Reproductive Medicine. Brandon and I decided that no matter the cost, we were gonna do it! So, at 11am we had our initial consultation with Dr. Lipari and boy was that a lot of information to take in!! I left with such a smile and so much hope that it wouldn't be long and my wait will be over!
February 12, 2013 Per Dr. Lipari's orders, today is a big day for us! I am having a Sono-HSG which is where they will inject my uterus full of saline and pass bubbles through to make sure my Fallopian Tubes are open and to make sure my uterus doesn't have any cysts or other "not wanted" objects in it! As Brandon and I watched on the U/S screen and listened to Dr. L tell us everything we were seeing, it was amazing to finally hear Dr. L say that everything looked "absolutely perfect"!!! Other than the cysts on my ovaries and my stubborn tilted cervix, everything is absolutely perfect! Brandon also had his very first sperm analysis this day as well. And we had lots of blood work to do also!
Well, now that you are FULL to the brim of all of the history of our journey. I think it is safe to move on from there! This now brings us up to the present!! (PTL...I am sure you are sick and tired of the rambling on! But it is so important you know EVERYTHING!!)
To start off with exactly how this whole thing started I will need to start with the worst of the worst first.
April 2008, I had a normal menstrual cycle...Normal for me on birth control was 3 days in length and pretty light to say the least (compared to now, Oh My Word!!).
May 22, 2008 my Dad was killed in a horrible car accident coming home from the Panhandle. Can I just say, having one of your parents ripped from you in an instant is beyond words. Still to this day, I can't get over it.
July 12, 2008 Brandon and I became husband and wife!! This just so happened to be the best day of our lives (if I do say so myself!) thus far.
July 28, 2008 I went for my annual exam (ugh!!) and per my doctor's orders, due to my blood pressure being elevated with me being on BP medicine already, we decided it was best for me to stop my birth control pills due to the risks of stroke and blood clots. I left my GYN's office that day in high hopes that within a few months, we would be expecting a little bundle of joy...(man was I ever so wrong..)
September 2009 I went again for my annual exam...still not pregnant and not having a monthly cycle AT ALL. I asked my GYN about "why" I wasn't getting pregnant and her answer wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear...I was grieving and my body wasn't allowing me to get pregnant. I wasn't ovulating. I needed to get myself together and come back to see her. She recommended that I start seeing a therapist to help deal with losing my Dad. My body was under too much stress and I was not in any shape to carry a baby right then. To make me having a cycle, she prescribed Provera (progesterone) which I would start taking immediately for 10 days, then I would have a cycle. (Can I just say WORST cycle EVER!!!!!) I had to take this medication every month for the next 2 years.
September 2010 I went to a new OB/GYN due to the fact my FAVORITE GYN ever, Dr. C, moved to a new practice and could not accept patients for 1 whole year!! Now, I have always, since I was 15, went to a lady GYN...Well, I decided to go to a man OB/GYN because I had gotten so many great reviews of this Doc...Little did I know, I would NOT enjoy this appointment...Dr. S was not what I was expecting. I went through the appointment with little answered questions. I asked why I was not getting pregnant and what he could do to help me get pregnant. He told me that before he could do anything, I needed to have an Hystocypenogram(?) done to make sure my fallopian tubes were open. Well, for someone that doesn't have health insurance, this test is pretty costly ($1200 to be exact). At that point in my life, as I explained to Dr. S, we just did not have that kind of money. So he referred me to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist at Shands UF to see if she could figure out what was going on with my hormones, etc...
November 2010 I started seeing Dr. Rhoton-Vlasik at Shands UF. I loved her but did not like the fact that every appointment I went to, a Resident came in and I had to explain the whole story to them over and over. I always had questions but they could never answer them, correctly anyways. But outside of that little tidbit of useless information, after my first appointment with Dr. Rhoton she decided that I needed to do one more round of Provera and come back to have an endometrial biopsy done to make sure the reason for me not having a monthly cycle is not due to cancer...(yes, CANCER). Needless to say I was the biggest ball of nerves you ever seen...
December 2010 I went in to have my biopsy. My mother came with me for this procedure because my hubby had to work (ugh). After 2 attempts by the "resident" (yes, the RESIDENT), Dr. Rhoton decided she had better do it to get the best results. After 30 minutes of the worst pain I have ever been in, she finally got deep enough to get Endometrial tissue to test. Thank you Lord!
January 2012 I went back for a follow up appointment to see about my test results and lab work I had to get completed in between all the poking and prodding. My biopsy was negative for any cancerous cells (PTL!!) but my lab work did show that my testosterone levels were extremely elevated which indicates a diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). PCOS causes you not to ovulate due to small cysts on your ovaries. (Thank you God for a final diagnosis). Dr. Rhoton said I needed to get on a strict diet, low carb preferably, and come back in a few months to see if my levels are any better and if anything had improved...(definitely NOT the answer I wanted, but looking back now, it was all in His perfect plan).
March 2012 I went for a follow up...I was down 13 lbs (I am a depressive eater...I wasn't ALL in). This still was not enough to start Clomid to help me ovulate. (Needless to say, this was my very last appointment with Dr. Rhoton...She was beating around the bush too much and I wanted answers and help, right then!)
September 2012 I started seeing Dr. Larimer. She is a bariatric physician who has a practice in Lake Butler, Florida (not far from my house). My first day on her A-mazing diet was September 1st. It is the start to a new me and hopefully that new me being a Mommy!
November 2012 Down 30 pounds!! Go me!! At my follow up appointment Dr. Larimer decided to take me off one of the medications she had me on for weight loss, and try me on Metformin to treat my PCOS (which Dr. Rhoton said was ridiculous because I was NOT a diabetic..Little did she know...). I left my appointment that day full of hope and faith that it would not be long and my wait to be a Mommy would be over!
December 2012 Down 10 more pounds for a total of 40 pounds!!!!!! But still not pregnant....During this journey I have been so down in the dumps that I have literally cried every day for the last 4 years...This month was one of those months...
January 16, 2013 Today is our first appointment with Dr. Lipari at the Jacksonville Center for Reproductive Medicine. Brandon and I decided that no matter the cost, we were gonna do it! So, at 11am we had our initial consultation with Dr. Lipari and boy was that a lot of information to take in!! I left with such a smile and so much hope that it wouldn't be long and my wait will be over!
February 12, 2013 Per Dr. Lipari's orders, today is a big day for us! I am having a Sono-HSG which is where they will inject my uterus full of saline and pass bubbles through to make sure my Fallopian Tubes are open and to make sure my uterus doesn't have any cysts or other "not wanted" objects in it! As Brandon and I watched on the U/S screen and listened to Dr. L tell us everything we were seeing, it was amazing to finally hear Dr. L say that everything looked "absolutely perfect"!!! Other than the cysts on my ovaries and my stubborn tilted cervix, everything is absolutely perfect! Brandon also had his very first sperm analysis this day as well. And we had lots of blood work to do also!
Well, now that you are FULL to the brim of all of the history of our journey. I think it is safe to move on from there! This now brings us up to the present!! (PTL...I am sure you are sick and tired of the rambling on! But it is so important you know EVERYTHING!!)
Well, here goes nothing...
After 4 years and 8 months of praying, crying, praying, crying, being angry, crying, praying, praying and more praying...I have figured out that a journal or a blog, a way to put all of my feelings and thoughts outside of my body...would probably be a miraculous way for me to de-stress during our journey to become a Mommy and a Daddy (Thank you Jayme Williams). So here goes nothing!!
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