Okay, so after Wednesday's ordeal with our "big fat negative" pregnancy test, I took it pretty hard...I just knew that with everything being so perfect, all of our tests being exactly where they need to be, the perfect situation with plenty of mature follicles, I just knew that we would get the positive test we have been dreaming of for so many years now...I was so wrong...And I questioned God on so many levels that day. I wanted to know why it is taking so long for us and what does He want us to do in order to make Him happy enough to give us our precious miracle....Even though I know we are NOT to ever question God...I did...
Wednesday night I went to bed feeling fine...I was really tired, considering the events of that day and I had a terrible headache...But otherwise I felt fine. About 4:30am I woke up covered in sweat and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I felt dizzy and lightheaded, nauseous and I just knew I was having a heart attack. I literally knew at that moment I was going to have a heart attack...I woke up Brandon after 3 failed attempts of checking my blood pressure (the machine would not register my BP because it was so high) and I told him to call who he needed too, but I am going to the ER. He called his parents so his Mom could check my pulse rate, since I was too shook up to do so and Brandon was too. She listened to my heart with her stethyscope and immediately knew something was not right. It was beating so fast it sounded like it was fluttering. Atrial Flutter...Not good....So off to the ER I went. I got to the ER around 5:30am and immediately they hooked me up to the EKG machine and after that it was pretty much all a blur for me...I remember about 10 people rushing in the room, putting IV's in both arms and telling me everything will be okay just to focus on my breathing. I heard one of the nurses say alot is about to happen really fast. I was having Tachycardia with a heart rate of 260 bpm....I was also in Atrial Fibrillation...Yes, the same exact heart arrythmia my husband had only 48 hours before. I was scared to death to say the least. After about 2 hours of them working on me and giving me so much medication via IV my heart rate was finally under 200...I was exhausted....My husband was white as the sheets I was laying on...He was scared to death...The ER doctor asked me if there was any way I could be pregnant...I told him no and of course how I knew that...He told me what I didn't want to hear but what I needed to hear....He told me that was a good thing...He said if this had happened early on in pregnancy there is a high chance of miscarriage due to the amount of medications they have to give in this case. One of the IV meds they gave actually stops the electrical conduction of heart and restarts it...That was scary! And hurt so bad. My chest felt like it was going to bust open. After a very long 48 hours, a lot prayer and more prayer, my heart went back into a normal sinus rhythm after an injection they gave me to hopefully convert it that way...Can I just say how amazing our God is? One of the nurses who was monitoring my heart while the injection was going through said if my heart did not convert back to normal sinus rhythm within 10 to 15 minutes, it was most likely it would not convert on its own. Well, my sweet little nurse in the PCU said she was gonna wait...I told her I wanted to wait also before she called the cardiologist and told him the results. Exactly 50 minutes later, my heart converted!!!! I layed in that bed and prayed and prayed so hard that it would work so I wouldn't have to be shocked back into rhythm the next morning....And it worked!!! After a whole day on Wednesday of me sitting and crying wanting to know why God doesn't hear my prayers for a baby....I know why!!!! Because God knew that if I had gotten some really amazing news, and been expecting a little miracle, then this happen with my heart and us lose our little miracle....I couldn't handle that! And God knew that! My mind thinks I am ready but God knows my heart couldn't handle it at that time. God isn't ready yet to make me a Mommy.
God gives us the answers to our prayers that we need....Not always the answers we want! And I am living proof of that. I need to make sure my heart is okay before we further this journey. My cardiologist said it could just be a one time thing. I pray that is true. It was one of the most scariest moments of my life. I really thought something terrible was going to happen to me. But God has his hands on me the whole time.
Moral of this story, NEVER QUESTION GOD!!! God sure showed up for Brandon and I this past week. I told my friend, after Wednesday's news I was so broken hearted. And I was...I am...But God knows this and he knows how to fix the broken hearted. Thank you all so much for your prayers for the both of us! Please continue to pray for us as we make our way on down this road of Infertility. I will not give up on my dreams of becoming a mother. I will not give up on my dreams of dirty diapers, spit up, late nights, early mornings, first words, first steps....I will not give up!! God showed us that there is nothing more important than us! Brandon and I love each other so much that our hearts beat the same for each other. Who else can say that!! We are important to God and if that means holding off on our wants for a little while to make sure we have what we need to live, then so be it. God is with us, every single step of the way. He shows us who means the most to him and who means the most to us. Throughout the week, we found out some stuff about our own families and who cares enough to show up when we need them most. Those that decide to put other things before family, will not be included in our journey or our lives for that matter. We are loving people. I may not be the nicest person, but everything I do and say comes from my heart and from a place where it means something. For those that took out a moment of their time to call, text or facebook message me with kind words, I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart, my broken heart. God will heal us all and give us what we pray for, but not a minute too soon! Only in His perfect timing!!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
When will be God's time for us?
Over the past week, a lot has happened....Yesterday, my husband woke up and wasn't feeling well. He could tell his heart rate was extremely fast and not beating in a normal sinus rhythm so we immediately called his Cardiologist. They recommended he come in for an EKG immediately so off to Gainesville we went. Once we got there he was in Atrial Fibrillation. He went into A Fib back in June and they had to give his heart an electrical shock to put it back into normal rhythm. The Doctor that was available looked it over and came in not even 5 minutes later and told us he had already called over to the hospital and that Brandon needed to get over there immediately for another cardioversion. At this point, once again, both of us are scared. Of course Brandon was scared, he is 27 years old and having heart problems....Its scary at any age but we are too young for this right?? WRONG! Things like this know no boundaries.
We got to the ER and they checked him in, sent him back to the Interventional Observation Unit where they keep patients who undergo cardiac catherizations, stress tests, etc...A very nice, lady cardiologist came in and explained what she would be doing and that Brandon would have to be on some more medications to keep his heart in rhythm, hopefully. She said if it goes back out of rhythm again, we will need to consider other options such as a Cardiac Ablation, where they will go in and burn out a small part inside the heart where the arrhythmia is occurring. We are praying it will not get to this point. Please keep him in your prayers. He is feeling much better, a little tired and dizzy from the new medications they have him on. He will have to go back next week for another EKG to make sure everything is okay and then he will have a follow up with his cardiologist in the beginning of November.
Today....well....today was our pregnancy test....
The Intrauterine Insemination we did this month did not take. We are not pregnant....again....
I am heart broken to say the least. How much more can I take? I am trying so hard to keep all the faith in the world, and I do know that God will give me a baby in His time, but I can't help but question "When is God's time for us?" I know, I know...We are NOT to question God's perfect timing. Today, I have questioned a lot of things I shouldn't. I know that God has put me on this path for a reason. The last 5 years have been the hardest years of my whole life, so far... and I pray I never have to relive a single moment of them. I have been dealing with the death of my Daddy, being infertile and wanting a baby so bad it almost kills me....What more can I handle? God will not give us more than we can handle but as the saying goes, He is trusting me way too much....I really tried all month to not get my hopes up...And I thought I was doing a good job of it...until I got that dreaded phone call this afternoon and I completely lost it...It hit me so hard this month for some reason. I will make it through as I have every month for the last 5 years and 2 months. I will get through this with my husband right by my side, God in my heart and some amazing people God has placed in my life. People who are genuine and truly care about our situation and want this for us as much as we want it. People who feel the emotions right along with us. People who have and will be there for us the rest of this journey and long after this one is over and a new one begins. People who do not make excuses about not having time to call or come by and show concern due to work and other activities they plan that seem to be more important than family...(sorry had to throw that in there because this really gets to me). People that I am ever so grateful we have in our lives. I could never thank God enough for them and their friendships and their love and concern for us.
So, I will take time to process this. I will cry as I have all afternoon. I will question, but I know the answers are far beyond this world. The lesson I have learned this week is never take the ones you love for granted. I have been so caught up in our infertility and our IUI this month, I have over looked a lot things and my husband has been one of those things. As I have always said, God sometimes uses tragedy/sickness/etc...to make us see what is most important in life...To wake us up! This has been so clear to me. I am so thankful that God kept Brandon safe and healed his heart. I am so thankful that he is okay. I could never be able to live without him. He has been the love of my life for over 12 years now. He is my best friend and to see him sick tears me up. I love him so much and no matter how long we have been trying to have a family, nothing matters more than him being here to share our life together...Absolutely NOTHING!
We are scheduled to go back to meet with Dr. L about another route for this journey, something more aggressive. We will continue to pray that God will bless us with our little miracle and soon. We know that He will bless us. It is learning to be patient and just wait on Him that is the challenging part. I want to thank you all for praying for us. And for praying for Brandon. You are all apart of our journey and I appreciate the love and support. God is still good and God is still God. No matter the outcome of today, there is always another month. God will prevail in this for us. And for those of you on this journey too, He will get you there as well! Do not give up...As I have not. Keep going and just wait on the Lord.
We got to the ER and they checked him in, sent him back to the Interventional Observation Unit where they keep patients who undergo cardiac catherizations, stress tests, etc...A very nice, lady cardiologist came in and explained what she would be doing and that Brandon would have to be on some more medications to keep his heart in rhythm, hopefully. She said if it goes back out of rhythm again, we will need to consider other options such as a Cardiac Ablation, where they will go in and burn out a small part inside the heart where the arrhythmia is occurring. We are praying it will not get to this point. Please keep him in your prayers. He is feeling much better, a little tired and dizzy from the new medications they have him on. He will have to go back next week for another EKG to make sure everything is okay and then he will have a follow up with his cardiologist in the beginning of November.
Today....well....today was our pregnancy test....
The Intrauterine Insemination we did this month did not take. We are not pregnant....again....
I am heart broken to say the least. How much more can I take? I am trying so hard to keep all the faith in the world, and I do know that God will give me a baby in His time, but I can't help but question "When is God's time for us?" I know, I know...We are NOT to question God's perfect timing. Today, I have questioned a lot of things I shouldn't. I know that God has put me on this path for a reason. The last 5 years have been the hardest years of my whole life, so far... and I pray I never have to relive a single moment of them. I have been dealing with the death of my Daddy, being infertile and wanting a baby so bad it almost kills me....What more can I handle? God will not give us more than we can handle but as the saying goes, He is trusting me way too much....I really tried all month to not get my hopes up...And I thought I was doing a good job of it...until I got that dreaded phone call this afternoon and I completely lost it...It hit me so hard this month for some reason. I will make it through as I have every month for the last 5 years and 2 months. I will get through this with my husband right by my side, God in my heart and some amazing people God has placed in my life. People who are genuine and truly care about our situation and want this for us as much as we want it. People who feel the emotions right along with us. People who have and will be there for us the rest of this journey and long after this one is over and a new one begins. People who do not make excuses about not having time to call or come by and show concern due to work and other activities they plan that seem to be more important than family...(sorry had to throw that in there because this really gets to me). People that I am ever so grateful we have in our lives. I could never thank God enough for them and their friendships and their love and concern for us.
So, I will take time to process this. I will cry as I have all afternoon. I will question, but I know the answers are far beyond this world. The lesson I have learned this week is never take the ones you love for granted. I have been so caught up in our infertility and our IUI this month, I have over looked a lot things and my husband has been one of those things. As I have always said, God sometimes uses tragedy/sickness/etc...to make us see what is most important in life...To wake us up! This has been so clear to me. I am so thankful that God kept Brandon safe and healed his heart. I am so thankful that he is okay. I could never be able to live without him. He has been the love of my life for over 12 years now. He is my best friend and to see him sick tears me up. I love him so much and no matter how long we have been trying to have a family, nothing matters more than him being here to share our life together...Absolutely NOTHING!
We are scheduled to go back to meet with Dr. L about another route for this journey, something more aggressive. We will continue to pray that God will bless us with our little miracle and soon. We know that He will bless us. It is learning to be patient and just wait on Him that is the challenging part. I want to thank you all for praying for us. And for praying for Brandon. You are all apart of our journey and I appreciate the love and support. God is still good and God is still God. No matter the outcome of today, there is always another month. God will prevail in this for us. And for those of you on this journey too, He will get you there as well! Do not give up...As I have not. Keep going and just wait on the Lord.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Nerves...Oh Nerves...Will get the best of me yet!!!
Okay, so I know I said I would blog more often but I have a good excuse this time...Well, no I really dont have a good excuse this time. Anyways, I am blogging now and we have a very stressful time coming up for us and we really need your prayers.
My blood pregnancy test is coming up soon (really soon...But I am not posting a date to give us our time with the results either way it goes)...I am trying to be cautiously optimistic because last month the big fat negative result really gave me a punch in the gut...I was so devastated. But just like I said last month, we take time to cry and grieve and be angry at our bodies for that time, then we wake up and get ready for the next cycle. I try to keep telling myself "There is always next month"! As hard as it is to fully understand it myself. But there is always next month.
I feel deep down that God is fixing to make some pretty amazing things happen in our lives. I am really excited and scared at the same time because I know exactly what it feels like to get my hopes shot down. I have done it every month for 5 years 2 months and 20 days. I have got my hopes up that just maybe, just maybe...This would be our month. That month came and went and here we are...Still no baby, yet!! But if I am pregnant, right now this very moment, I am 3 weeks and 5 days with our little miracle(s). And that makes me feel so excited!!!! It makes me feel excited there is a chance I may have 2 amazing little blessings growing inside me right now at this very moment. God is so good and He makes absolutely NO mistakes and I am thanking Him even in the darkest of days. Even in the days I feel that I will never get off this roller coaster called "Infertility". I saw a picture somewhere the other day that said "If Monday was a person, I would punch her in the face"...Well I feel that way about "Infertility"! If Infertility was a person, I would like to punch her in the face too!! But, you know, even though this has been one of the most difficult times of my life, had it not been for this journey there are so many things I would never have experienced...So many people I never would've met and gained beautiful friendships over and I never would've gotten so close to Jesus! I guess in our darkest of times, we realize that God is our only way out of the dark. God will bring us to the light, where all things are beautiful and where blessings and miracles happen when we just believe in Him! And believe in His timing! I am by no means a "perfect" Christian. I don't think anyone is. But I can tell you, I have let people into my life, my very personal life and personal details through this blog. I have exposed my life to you all. One thing someone will never call me is a Hypocrite. I lay it out there. And I am honest. This journey is NOT easy and it never will be for anyone. There are times when you will want to just absolutely give up. I have been there. More than once. And I can tell you, those moments will help you grow. They have helped me to understand that I, as an individual person, have no control over things like this. Even though I have a really hard just giving all of my troubles to God, I understand that I have no control over them. I pray for God to help me to give it all to Him. And let Him handle it. Especially in the coming days, I will need God just to handle it. To take my fear away and handle it!!
Please keep us in your prayers this week. I thank God for all of my readers and all of the prayers you all are sending up for us and our sweet little miracle(s) to be. I am firm believer in the power of prayer and I thank you all!!
My blood pregnancy test is coming up soon (really soon...But I am not posting a date to give us our time with the results either way it goes)...I am trying to be cautiously optimistic because last month the big fat negative result really gave me a punch in the gut...I was so devastated. But just like I said last month, we take time to cry and grieve and be angry at our bodies for that time, then we wake up and get ready for the next cycle. I try to keep telling myself "There is always next month"! As hard as it is to fully understand it myself. But there is always next month.
I feel deep down that God is fixing to make some pretty amazing things happen in our lives. I am really excited and scared at the same time because I know exactly what it feels like to get my hopes shot down. I have done it every month for 5 years 2 months and 20 days. I have got my hopes up that just maybe, just maybe...This would be our month. That month came and went and here we are...Still no baby, yet!! But if I am pregnant, right now this very moment, I am 3 weeks and 5 days with our little miracle(s). And that makes me feel so excited!!!! It makes me feel excited there is a chance I may have 2 amazing little blessings growing inside me right now at this very moment. God is so good and He makes absolutely NO mistakes and I am thanking Him even in the darkest of days. Even in the days I feel that I will never get off this roller coaster called "Infertility". I saw a picture somewhere the other day that said "If Monday was a person, I would punch her in the face"...Well I feel that way about "Infertility"! If Infertility was a person, I would like to punch her in the face too!! But, you know, even though this has been one of the most difficult times of my life, had it not been for this journey there are so many things I would never have experienced...So many people I never would've met and gained beautiful friendships over and I never would've gotten so close to Jesus! I guess in our darkest of times, we realize that God is our only way out of the dark. God will bring us to the light, where all things are beautiful and where blessings and miracles happen when we just believe in Him! And believe in His timing! I am by no means a "perfect" Christian. I don't think anyone is. But I can tell you, I have let people into my life, my very personal life and personal details through this blog. I have exposed my life to you all. One thing someone will never call me is a Hypocrite. I lay it out there. And I am honest. This journey is NOT easy and it never will be for anyone. There are times when you will want to just absolutely give up. I have been there. More than once. And I can tell you, those moments will help you grow. They have helped me to understand that I, as an individual person, have no control over things like this. Even though I have a really hard just giving all of my troubles to God, I understand that I have no control over them. I pray for God to help me to give it all to Him. And let Him handle it. Especially in the coming days, I will need God just to handle it. To take my fear away and handle it!!
Please keep us in your prayers this week. I thank God for all of my readers and all of the prayers you all are sending up for us and our sweet little miracle(s) to be. I am firm believer in the power of prayer and I thank you all!!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
And now we wait!
Well, the past couple of days have been some of the most challenging so far. I am more than thankful for each day we get to further our journey and learn more about this process and what we have to look forward too. However, I am so glad this cycle is over for now. It has been difficult for me, medically.
Monday I went for an ultrasound to see exactly how big my follicles were. I had one 20mm and one 12mm and a few others that were around 10mm. I was so thankful for that because last month my biggest follicle was an 18mm. However, Monday night, Brandon and I prayed together, that on Tuesday everything would go smooth and if it was in His will, that the other follicle would grow to an 18 or a 20! Well, I must say that from experience, our God is a BIG God and he does answer prayers. When we got to the office yesterday afternoon, I told the nurse that I had been having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen, alot of nausea and dizziness only since yesterday morning. I had been having some discomfort for about a week now but that is only due to my ovaries getting bigger with the growth of the follicles. Well, to be on the safe side, one of our favorite ARNP's, Susan, wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure there wasn't something going on before they did our first IUI. Well, the follicle on my left ovary that was 12mm on Monday had grown to over 20mm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I say that our God is so very good???!!!!!!!! Such an answered prayer!! The only problem was, I had developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome....This is from my ovaries being so enlarged and the fact that I had many folllicles this month. Fluid accumulates in the abdomen and can potentially move to the chest area if not monitored. I have a little bit of fluid in my lower abdomen, therefore I am now on bed rest, light bed rest...I can get up and walk around a little bit in order to keep blood from clotting. I am so thankful this was found and is being monitored.
On another good note, when the embryologist came in to see us yesterday, she said that they were able to get 3 million sperm after they washed them!!! Which is a fantastic number considering there was only a 2 day gap between the collection and our last planned intercourse date. So yet, another answered prayer!!! God has been and still is so so good!!!
Today was our final insemination. Due to me not feeling so great, I now have some pain medication and some anti nausea medication. Which I am so thankful for. The embryologist was able to get 2.8 million sperm after the wash today! YAY! So, now we are back in the waiting game. I will not be posting the date for our pregnancy test, due to the fact I had so many messages last month and due to the emotional side of this day, I feel I just need to let it be a family thing! Once we get a positive test, I have big plans for a pregnancy announcement so the more secretive I can be the better!! After all, my husband and my family and I have waited for a positive pregnancy test for 5 years, 2 months and 12 days!! This will be the most joyful time of our lives and I do believe that our family should get to celebrate with us before we announce our fantastic news to the rest of our friends! Now, I am not saying that it will be positive but I have faith that God is going to bless us this month! And within the next 2 weeks, we will know whether it is God's time for us! I am so excited to see what is in store for us!
Please keep us in your prayers! Please pray that this Hyperstimulation syndrome will take care of itself and not turn into something more serious. God is so good and we are a great example of God's work! Look how far we have come on this journey! Look how far prayer and faith has gotten us! I am so grateful!! Absolutely so very grateful! We have gained friendships that will last a lifetime just by sharing our journey and we are helping others on their journey as well! God places us in the right place at the right time but it is up to us to do His work! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! Keep them coming!! Love you all!
Monday I went for an ultrasound to see exactly how big my follicles were. I had one 20mm and one 12mm and a few others that were around 10mm. I was so thankful for that because last month my biggest follicle was an 18mm. However, Monday night, Brandon and I prayed together, that on Tuesday everything would go smooth and if it was in His will, that the other follicle would grow to an 18 or a 20! Well, I must say that from experience, our God is a BIG God and he does answer prayers. When we got to the office yesterday afternoon, I told the nurse that I had been having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen, alot of nausea and dizziness only since yesterday morning. I had been having some discomfort for about a week now but that is only due to my ovaries getting bigger with the growth of the follicles. Well, to be on the safe side, one of our favorite ARNP's, Susan, wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure there wasn't something going on before they did our first IUI. Well, the follicle on my left ovary that was 12mm on Monday had grown to over 20mm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I say that our God is so very good???!!!!!!!! Such an answered prayer!! The only problem was, I had developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome....This is from my ovaries being so enlarged and the fact that I had many folllicles this month. Fluid accumulates in the abdomen and can potentially move to the chest area if not monitored. I have a little bit of fluid in my lower abdomen, therefore I am now on bed rest, light bed rest...I can get up and walk around a little bit in order to keep blood from clotting. I am so thankful this was found and is being monitored.
On another good note, when the embryologist came in to see us yesterday, she said that they were able to get 3 million sperm after they washed them!!! Which is a fantastic number considering there was only a 2 day gap between the collection and our last planned intercourse date. So yet, another answered prayer!!! God has been and still is so so good!!!
Today was our final insemination. Due to me not feeling so great, I now have some pain medication and some anti nausea medication. Which I am so thankful for. The embryologist was able to get 2.8 million sperm after the wash today! YAY! So, now we are back in the waiting game. I will not be posting the date for our pregnancy test, due to the fact I had so many messages last month and due to the emotional side of this day, I feel I just need to let it be a family thing! Once we get a positive test, I have big plans for a pregnancy announcement so the more secretive I can be the better!! After all, my husband and my family and I have waited for a positive pregnancy test for 5 years, 2 months and 12 days!! This will be the most joyful time of our lives and I do believe that our family should get to celebrate with us before we announce our fantastic news to the rest of our friends! Now, I am not saying that it will be positive but I have faith that God is going to bless us this month! And within the next 2 weeks, we will know whether it is God's time for us! I am so excited to see what is in store for us!
Please keep us in your prayers! Please pray that this Hyperstimulation syndrome will take care of itself and not turn into something more serious. God is so good and we are a great example of God's work! Look how far we have come on this journey! Look how far prayer and faith has gotten us! I am so grateful!! Absolutely so very grateful! We have gained friendships that will last a lifetime just by sharing our journey and we are helping others on their journey as well! God places us in the right place at the right time but it is up to us to do His work! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! Keep them coming!! Love you all!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Follies, Follies and more Follies!!
On Wednesday this week we had our first appointment of this cycle with the ARNP at Dr. L's office, Susan. I absolutely couldn't have ever prayed for a better group of Doctors and ARNP's. They are all amazing. We had 8 follicles maturing (my amazing husband said I am preparing for the Easter Bunny LOL). 6 on my left ovary and 2 on my right ovary, which is a lot more than last months. Last month we had about 12 total but there were a lot of 8mm and 7mm sizes last month which ended up resulting in one 18mm, one 17mm and a 12mm (if I remember exactly right). Usually 20-22mm is ideal so last month they weren't ideal but they still released and of course as you all know, we got a "big FAT negative".
We went back again today to see all of the little follies and we have one 15mm, 12mm, 10mm and a couple 8mm. She said I would most likely end up with 3 matured for the IUI procedures on Tuesday and Wednesday this coming week. We will see for sure on Monday when we return back for our final ultrasound before the IUI's to see exactly what we are working with this month. I know that God has this and we will have great results. I can just feel it.
I always promised to be honest and open about everything involving my Infertility Journey and that is what I am doing. This blog portrays 100% exactly how I feel! God didn't skimp when he gave me honesty and openness! That is for sure. I just hope you all understand the point of this blog. To open the eyes of those that have no idea about Infertility and the treatment process. To help those going through Infertility better understand what is happening to them and their bodies and why they feel the way they do emotionally. The number one reason and purpose of this blog is to let everyone know, that no matter what life throws at us, even infertility, God will get us to destination Motherhood! GOD WILL GET US THERE!!! Whether through IVF, IUI, adoption...What ever it may be, if God gives us the desire to be a Mother, he will not tantalize us! He will make us Mommies (thank you Sarah)!! I want to show everyone that even the average person, like myself, not raised in church, never a real "faithful" person prior to getting saved in April 2010, can lean on God and can be faithful even in the hardest of times. It is by no means easy. I can honestly say, I get down and out sometimes but only for a moment. The next day starts a new day and out with the tears, out with the sadness and worry and on with the positivity and progression!! I love being able to say that God is the only one that has helped me get through all I have been dealt in the past 5 years. My husband has been the next best thing of course but God and his promises has gotten me here! Exactly where I am right now. I am able to share our journey with you all in total confidence and with total and complete honesty! I read on another blog I follow about an Infertile couple, that once you are able to share your story, you are starting to heal from it. I do believe that. We have traveled this road for quite sometime now and of course I still get frustrated with the "wait" and I still get discouraged but that is okay. We all get that way sometimes. I would seem to think we wouldn't be human if we weren't upset, frustrated, discouraged only for a moment when things do not go our way. But, as I have said, it is only for a time. We pick ourselves back up and keep moving. That is the part of true healing and being content with the way things are moving along. Ever since we started going to Dr. L and his staff, I must say I felt content that he would help us fix the problems and make me a Mommy. And he is doing just that. We are just waiting now for God to bless us with our little miracle. Our true miracle child that we never thought we would have or hold. God is good and will prevail in our situation. If you are going through this same thing, DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE! You have alot of support and there are so many in your shoes. Just keep the faith and pray to our God every chance you get! He hears our prayers and He will give us all the desires of our hearts! I love you all and I am so thankful for all of my readers. It keeps me going to know that I have so many following us and praying for us on this journey! It is humbling to know when I have helped someone on their own journey to Motherhood. And I can only thank God for all of this!
Until next time, keep praying for us!! Our procedure for the IUI is scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday. Pray for growing little follicles!! We need them to get to 20mm!!
We went back again today to see all of the little follies and we have one 15mm, 12mm, 10mm and a couple 8mm. She said I would most likely end up with 3 matured for the IUI procedures on Tuesday and Wednesday this coming week. We will see for sure on Monday when we return back for our final ultrasound before the IUI's to see exactly what we are working with this month. I know that God has this and we will have great results. I can just feel it.
I always promised to be honest and open about everything involving my Infertility Journey and that is what I am doing. This blog portrays 100% exactly how I feel! God didn't skimp when he gave me honesty and openness! That is for sure. I just hope you all understand the point of this blog. To open the eyes of those that have no idea about Infertility and the treatment process. To help those going through Infertility better understand what is happening to them and their bodies and why they feel the way they do emotionally. The number one reason and purpose of this blog is to let everyone know, that no matter what life throws at us, even infertility, God will get us to destination Motherhood! GOD WILL GET US THERE!!! Whether through IVF, IUI, adoption...What ever it may be, if God gives us the desire to be a Mother, he will not tantalize us! He will make us Mommies (thank you Sarah)!! I want to show everyone that even the average person, like myself, not raised in church, never a real "faithful" person prior to getting saved in April 2010, can lean on God and can be faithful even in the hardest of times. It is by no means easy. I can honestly say, I get down and out sometimes but only for a moment. The next day starts a new day and out with the tears, out with the sadness and worry and on with the positivity and progression!! I love being able to say that God is the only one that has helped me get through all I have been dealt in the past 5 years. My husband has been the next best thing of course but God and his promises has gotten me here! Exactly where I am right now. I am able to share our journey with you all in total confidence and with total and complete honesty! I read on another blog I follow about an Infertile couple, that once you are able to share your story, you are starting to heal from it. I do believe that. We have traveled this road for quite sometime now and of course I still get frustrated with the "wait" and I still get discouraged but that is okay. We all get that way sometimes. I would seem to think we wouldn't be human if we weren't upset, frustrated, discouraged only for a moment when things do not go our way. But, as I have said, it is only for a time. We pick ourselves back up and keep moving. That is the part of true healing and being content with the way things are moving along. Ever since we started going to Dr. L and his staff, I must say I felt content that he would help us fix the problems and make me a Mommy. And he is doing just that. We are just waiting now for God to bless us with our little miracle. Our true miracle child that we never thought we would have or hold. God is good and will prevail in our situation. If you are going through this same thing, DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE! You have alot of support and there are so many in your shoes. Just keep the faith and pray to our God every chance you get! He hears our prayers and He will give us all the desires of our hearts! I love you all and I am so thankful for all of my readers. It keeps me going to know that I have so many following us and praying for us on this journey! It is humbling to know when I have helped someone on their own journey to Motherhood. And I can only thank God for all of this!
Until next time, keep praying for us!! Our procedure for the IUI is scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday. Pray for growing little follicles!! We need them to get to 20mm!!
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