How I came to know Jesus Christ!

I have kept wondering how God would lead this blog and where He would lead me with it. I have prayed for a way to continue blogging, but more often and not just during the times we are actually in the middle of treatments or waiting to hear results, etc. I want it to serve a bigger purpose, have a bigger impact on someone's life.

I have decided that today is the day I will share my testimony with everyone. Some may know how I came to know Jesus Christ but many do not. I pray it will bless someone.

To start it off, I will say that as a child, my immediate family NEVER went to church. I cannot remember a time when I actually went to church with my Mom and Dad (although my Mom said as a young child we did attend a small Baptist church in our town). I do remember occasionally going with my Great Grandmother, as she went every time the doors were open. She would buy me thrift store dresses and sweaters, she would redo the buttons and clean them up real nice and off to church we would go. She bought me my very first "adult" size Bible and sewed a homemade cover for it. I loved going to church with her. It was a routine though. You got up, dressed up, went to the service and had lunch out somewhere nice. I enjoyed it. It gave me something to look forward to on Sundays.

There were many factors contributing to "why" I needed Jesus in my life. In 1996, my grandfather died after finding out only a few months prior that he had cancer. This happening not long after my uncle was in a terrible car accident, where he almost died and spent almost a year in the hospital. During the following years, my Uncle (who was more like a brother to me and my younger brother) became addicted to drugs and alcohol. Being on pain killers after his accident, he became addicted to them. He went on to overdose in 2005 and died. It was like apart of my heart was completely ripped from my chest.

 In 2008, while planning my approaching wedding and being fresh in the Cardiovascular Program at Santa Fe College, my Dad was killed in a car accident coming home from Panama City, Fl on May 22. Only a little less than 2 months until my wedding day, my life was completely turned upside down. I can remember asking God "why" about a zillion times on the 1 hour drive back home from St Augustine, FL. I can remember being so angry that this was happening to our family. Why would God punish us like this!!?? What had we done to deserve this? I went on and still got married on July 12, 2008....52 days after my Dad was killed.

Right after getting married, my husband and I both decided that we were ready to start a family of our own. Yes we were young (21 and 22) but we had already done alot of the things young couples wanted to do so we decided if it happens, then so be it. We weren't going to prevent it from happening. Little did we know that we would still not have a baby so many years later. In January 2011 we started going to church with my in laws at Brandon's home church, where he had attended as a child. Over the next 4 months, God completely convicted me during every single service, every bible study we went to on Wednesdays. I was at a point in my life that I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I was still grieving my Dads death among other family issues that had came up since his death. I felt alone in the world around me...Like I was already dead and looking down at everything happening. It was kind of like God was allowing me to be absent from my own life to see how everyone elses' life had continued while I was allowing the devil and the circumstances of my life to control everything about me. I was angry, extremely angry! I was absolutely hateful to those I loved the most, mainly to my husband. At times I would have violent outbursts of anger for no reason. I hated my life. I hated every single thing about my life. I was done...Until the night of April 20, 2011 at our Wednesday night bible study. That day, I had asked my Father in law to ask our preacher if I could talk to him after the study that night. I can remember being so nervous/scared as to what he would ask me or what I would say to him about my life. I hadn't been no angel. But it was time to change all of that.

That night, I prayed with our preacher and I asked Jesus Christ into my heart, with my eyes filled with tears. My Mother in law was there with me. I can remember walking out of that building with a feeling that tons of weights had been removed from my chest. A sense of relief. I had a chance at a new life. And for that I was so very thankful!

Ever since that Wednesday night bible study where I came to know Jesus Christ, my life has been so much easier, so much more relaxed. Rather than focusing on how terrible my life was, I could focus on how God was blessing me in the midst of the tragedy, the infertilty, the marital issues, the family issues...Everything. I could actually live my life without fear of the unknown.  Don't get me wrong, I still have days, some times weeks where I feel like I am being punished. Its been over 6 years and we have done tons of infertility treatments that have all failed to work...It was like my life was over once again but it didn't last as long as it had in the past, BEFORE I knew Jesus. I had people who would pray for me and I would pray and ask God to help me through it. And of course He did! I am here now, stronger than I have ever been to tell you that Jesus can help you through EVERYTHING in your life. There is nothing too bad or too hard for Jesus to work through. I lost my Grandfather, my Uncle, My Dad... Currently dealing with Infertility, almost lost my husband because I was being selfish...But Jesus has helped me! He has placed people in my life to help me through ALL of this! The things I have no control over. Jesus Christ has saved me from myself!!

You are never too lost for Jesus to save! He can and WILL help you! All you have to do is ask Him to help you! Its THAT easy! Being a Christian is not an easy road to follow, especially when you have the Devil attacking you at every corner. But God promised to send us help in the Holy Spirit that resides in us! That lives in us! No infertility, marital problems or even death can run off the Holy Spirit!

My reason for sharing this with you is simple...There may be that one person out there reading this right now who may not know Jesus Christ at all. There may be that one person out there reading this right now that may know Jesus, but is living like he doesn't exist. Through my struggles, my tragedies, I want to be able to help others. God loves us all! So much that he sent his one and only son to die on the cross for ALL OF US!!! How awesome is that! How amazing is it that someone loved YOU so much, that He sent his ONLY son to die for us a painful, tragic death. It doesn't get anymore unconditional than that.

I may not be a Mother yet...God is seriously making me wait. But during this wait, I know that I can rely on Him to get me through. I can use this time to work on my marriage, make it more centered around Jesus...I can use this time to really dig deeper into His word and find MY purpose! I can use this time to PRAISE HIM!! The one who has given me a reason to live! An everlasting amount of love and a place to call home after this life is over!

 Where are you at in your walk with Jesus?? Do you even have a relationship with Him? Have you lost touch with Him? Take a minute to pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart and take away the pain, the struggles, the addictions, the unfaithfulness, the need for things other than Him....Pray for God to be your Lord and Savior! Ask Him for forgiveness of all of your sins! Confess to Him and ask for forgiveness!

(If you took the time to pray today, I recommend you contacting your pastor or your spiritual adviser and talk about your next step. Welcome to the Family!!! )

 Until next time, thank you all for reading! I love you all and please continue your prayers for us! Pray specifically for God to lead us in the direction we should go. Pray for us to get our miracle!