We started out the year with a new Reproductive Specialist thanks to a friend of mine referring us to him. I will forever be so grateful and thankful for this person and all of the information they have given me and for leading me to Dr. Lipari and his staff. I can remember to this day the feeling I had walking into this first appointment. I had a feeling that day that made me think our waiting 4 years had finally come to an end and we would be expecting our first miracle within a few months. Little did I know at that point, God had other plans and He already knew the path and pain I would experience during this time.
Over the past 11 months, I have gone through so many lab tests I can't even count...invasive procedures checking for reproductive issues, medications that have made me so very sick, a terrible upset stomach every single day since January 17th when I started an increased dosage of Metformin..., 2 failed cycles including 2 back to back IUI procedures and one timed intercourse cycle...A trip to the hospital only 15 hours after finding out that my dreams had not come true that month resulting in atrial fibrillation and tachycardia and a over night stay in the Progressive Care Unit. I have started counseling to learn to deal with my crazy life and to help me in my walk with Jesus! My husband and I together have recently within the last month and a half decided to attend marriage counseling with the same Christian counselor to help us learn to deal with the emotional toll infertility has on marriages, including our own. I would say this year has flown by, but to me it has taken its emotional toll on me and I am not sad to see 2013 go. It means I am another year older and still childless, but it also means a new year has come with new opportunities and new hope! So that makes me happy and gives me strength to keep going on this journey.
Some people often ask me why I put my personal life out there for the world to read. Well, to be honest, starting this blog back in February 2013 was the BEST thing I ever decided to do for many reasons. One being I get to "vent" my feelings without being face to face with someone who may not care or may not understand why I "feel" the way I do. Being able to type my feelings out is so very therapeutic for me and I absolutely feel I should've been a journalist or a writer as my profession because I love to write. The second reason I believe this has been the best thing I have ever done, is simply because it allows me to be a vessel for God to deliver a message to so many people that may have otherwise not received it. Since starting this blog, I have grown in my faith tremendously. It has given me the "practice what you preach" attitude and helps me to really see myself as the world see's me. And last but not least, I want to be able to let everyone know that is going through infertility themselves and the ones around us all that may or may not understand what it is or what it is like to be around someone who is battling infertility, well, I want to give an inside view into what is does emotionally, physically and mentally to battle infertility. It is NOT easy and I think in the beginning some people including some of my own family, had absolutely NO idea what it was all about. It isn't just going to a doctor and getting some pills or having sperm injected into your vagina...And it definitely isn't just having someone "make" your baby in a laboratory somewhere in some doctors office....There is so much more to infertility treatments than any of that. And that has been my goal all along, to make sure people understand what it is like to walk in our shoes.
I will close by saying I have been so blessed by being able to bring our story to you. I love receiving comments and messages from all of my faithful readers and fellow infertility friends. I love to hear others' stories as well. I pray that 2014 will bring baby dust to myself and all of my friends and people I don't even know who are battling infertility. I pray that in 2014, people who do not understand what someone who is battling infertility goes through, will come across my blog and be opened up to what the life of infertility brings. I pray that God will bless each and every one of you who read this blog. Keep praying for us, as we always need your prayers. Keep the faith and never lose hope because God has brought my husband and I this far after all of these years and I know He will do the same for all of you. Please feel free to email me at my century link email posted in my information section. I love to chat about our story and help in any way I can. I hope you all have a wonderful new year!!! Stay tuned for much more exciting things for us this year. It may not all be rainbows and ponies, sunny skies and beautiful flowers...But it is our life, our story, our journey! And with Jesus at the wheel who knows where we will go!!
No comments:
Post a Comment