I know I have said this before but I think I spend more time in "waiting" than I do anything else. Well, besides doing laundry but that is a whole other story (a sad one too because it is only my husband and I in our home and he dirty's more laundry than a newborn I think). God makes us wait, not because he is punishing us, even though it seems that way, but He makes us wait because our lives are all based on His perfect timing for everything that happens. Nothing will come a moment too soon.
We had both of our IUI's last week and even though I was devastated that we only got 4.8 million sperm the first collection and 2.1 the second collection, no matter how many there are, even if only 1...God can make it happen with just that one perfect little sperm. I had 2 really good size follicles both over a 20 mm so that was fantastic. I was expecting more since we decided to go with the minimal stimulation cycle with Follistim however, it didn't work as I had planned. Really a waste of money on injections that didn't perform. But we live and we learn. At least now I know that I will not use these again if we are not recipients of that big fat positive this month.
Speaking of that BFP, we will find out next week...OMGoodness!! Next week. I only have this week and half of next week to contain the nerves...Even though that is not happening. I am a lot more at peace this cycle though. Not sure if I just realized that the last cycle being a failure literally almost killed me and ended with a hospital stay and a $35,000 hospital bill...or if God has finally answered my prayers for the worry to be wiped away. I am going with number 2 because God is good and He will always prevails over some stupid hospital stay! Even though I must say God was with me during that hospital stay. We found out some things that needed to be addressed, stress being one of those things and probably the most important. But anyone who has experienced this journey will tell you the same thing...It. Is. Stressful.
For now we are just waiting, once again! I have been reminding myself over and over again that God has even made some of the most important Biblical figures wait too. After all, Sarah was 90 years old and Abraham was 100 years old when she gave birth to their son Isaac. I pray God doesn't make me wait that long but just knowing that these Biblical figures waited so long before God gave them their miracle, gives me hope! If you too are in the "waiting" period for whatever it is you have been praying for, please know that God hears you (if you are his Child) and He will give you the desires of your heart in His timing, now yours. This is a big thing I have had to learn. It is all in God's perfect precious timing!
Please keep praying for us. We still have a little bit to wait to find out if our miracle has happened! Please pray specifically that my anxiety will not surface! Usually getting closer to the day and on the day of our test, I am a nervous wreck and I just pray that God will contain this and take it away from my body!! Thank you all so much for your prayers! Much love!! XOXO
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