Sorry I didn't let you all know how the appointment went yesterday...I definitely did not get the news I was praying for but what I did get was a better understanding of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason...". It turns out that my body is not making estrogen, AT ALL...Yes, you read it right...In order to make healthy eggs, you have to have estrogen. I have way too much testosterone and DHEA-S, that my body just isn't functioning the way it should for a woman trying to conceive. I have a vitamin D deficiency and my thyroid is in layman terms, not functioning. Great big fat answer as to why I have not been able to get pregnant over the last 5 years (depressing..Yes..But an answer finally, PTL). Brandon has a severely low sperm count...Normal range for men his age is around 50 million per milliliter. His count is 5.1 million. He has a low testosterone level which is why he is not producing a normal amount of sperm. The good news is that he does in fact have sperm!! (Thank you Lord for that answered prayer)
Now, after all of this information was given to us, we then discussed what the next step is. Dr. L said that right now I have a 60% chance of miscarriage and with our levels the way they are, only a 3% chance of getting pregnant, if that. He asked me very plainly if I wanted to go ahead with treatment and I said absolutely NOT! After being on this journey to become a Mommy for almost 5 years now, getting pregnant and having the feeling of actually being a "Mommy" then miscarrying would send me over the edge. The journey by itself is enough to send you over the edge, but a miscarriage....Absolutely not! Not if it is on my terms and I made the choice to go through with the treatment right now without fixing the problems that are causing us to not be able to get pregnant. I chose to fix the problems! Yes, I did!
So, I was prescribed 3 new medications. One for my thyroid, birth control to give me those "lady" hormones that I so desperately need to make healthy little eggies, and a new, stronger Metformin to help with my insulin levels. Brandon will be given Letrizol to assist in him making healthy little sperm and lots and lots of them! I will be on a strict diet regimen of absolutely NO carbs due to the insulin spikes that cause an increased amount of testosterone (Yes, just kill me now!!) then I will go back to Dr. L in 4 weeks (April 1st) to see how things are going. Brandon will start his meds when they get here from the Fertility pharmacy and he will go back in 6-8 weeks to check out how well and plentiful his little guys are working (FYI...It takes 70 days for a man to "make" new healthy sperm).
As bad it all seems right now and as depressed as I am about this turn of events...I must say that I am so thankful that God has not allowed me to get pregnant to date. The reason for this being He knew that I could mentally and emotionally not handle a miscarriage. I am so thankful that He has allowed us to get this far and finally getting answers as to why we have not became parents yet. This is all apart of God's perfect plan for our lives. I know it! It is hard to digest sometimes but the Lord always knows best!!
For now, I will take the meds and see how the diet goes. I can stand to lose another 80 pounds to get down to where I should be so maybe this is the time for that. That way I can show off my little "baby bump" when the time comes!! Who knows! I will need a lot of support over the next 4-6 weeks, as I know I will be discouraged further along this journey. I just want to be a Mommy but you know, God has other plans right now and that is for me to get healthy enough to be a Mommy! (PTL) My ultimate blessing will be to have a healthy baby and I know I have to be healthy too in order to assure that I have the best possible chance of having a healthy little one. Right now with my testosterone levels as high as they are, I am not in any shape (metabolically) to carry a baby. And the Lord knows that. Please continue to pray for us! Keep the prayers going up in hopes of maybe less than 2 months away, we can finally hear the words "You are pregnant!!!"
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